Shameful Death
by Mayuna
Summary: Hiei faces his worse fear the possibility of a meaningless death


_The invading darkness. The biting cold. The utter feeling of complete hopelessness. In those last moments. _

_The precise moment you feel your breath hitch in your throat and close in on itself.  
_

_You struggle. Desperately trying to fill your lungs only realizing it's all in vain which only fuels you to try harder. Vaguely you're aware of your surroundings just before your eyes water over before they glaze shutting out the world in a matter of seconds. _

_The last thing you know is the low hum that pervades your head. When you know you are going to die._

_When you know that all is lost. When you realize it was all for nothing._

Hiei's eyes opened to stare at the tree top above him. He watched as the leaves danced and swayed in the slight breeze perhaps even marveling at the way the sun flecked off of the green. His gaze traveled down to the ground where people walked down the gravel path that ran through the park. Children screamed with joy at some game or other and dogs barked. Hiei sighed heavily.  
The human world was in fact a completely different world from his own. At times he wished...'No.' He thought with a scowl. 'Wishes are useless wastes of time'  
There were times he deeply regretted coming to the human world. It had been a tremendous waste of time. To begin with he had underestimated the portal he had come through. He had thought it would last at least a full day. Ample enough time to capture his prey and collect his bounty. The fact that he had been nervous hadn't helped matters either. It had made him berate himself as he stood nearly cowering before the passage through pseudo space.

'It can't be that much different from here.' Was his final passing thought before he took final step. Oh how wrong he had been. The usual sounds of distant screaming as an unfortunate demon met its end was replaced by the screech of sirens and the endless drone of traffic. The days were bright and the night skies on most days were clear. The smells of the human world were what confounded him the most. There were so many of them. At times he didn't know which way to turn his head.

One plus, if it could even be called that, to coming to the human world was meeting up with Kurama. Being a thief had grown up hearing stories of Kurama's past heists as well as speculation as to what his next one would be. As a child there were times he had gained the courage to try and seek out the spirit fox but knew even then it was in vain. The youko was elusive and cunning. Hiei was simply a mediocre unwanted child. What chance would he ever possibly have of finding such a creature. The day had heard the news that the fox had been shot down and presumed dead was indeed a dark one for him. The feeling of failure, 'If only I hadn't been so lazy I could have found him. Just once.', pervaded him.  
Anger replaced it as he surmised he would never be so weak to have to succumb to such a pitiful death.

Indeed the last place he would have ever suspected to find the youkai was the human world. At first the initial shock of who in fact he was fighting over took him nearly clouding his judgement. He had stared uncaring at the human boy wondering how the pale green eyed child could ever possibly be the legendary kitsune. The way that the child talked of demon affairs as well as his knowledge of the art of theivery was in time enough to convince Hiei that he was in fact whom he said he was. He became friends, if that was what their relationship in fact was, with Kurama more than just a little grateful not to be completely alone in the foreign world. Together they navigated it and learned.

The only reason as to why he had decided to ransack the vault in spirit world was a simple one. He became bored. He became bored and had mentioned it loosely to Kurama. The wistful smirk that had graced the fox's lips had sent Hiei's adrenaline pumping and he knew with only a few words he could convince the fox. Although Hiei denied it profusely to himself the trip had been made in an effort to prove his merit to the greatest theif of all time. The fact that he would be able to enslave the human race and possibly be able to take over the mundane world was an added bonus.

Then Yusuke came along. The obnoxious, loud mouthed spirit detective that had blasted Hiei into spirit world probation. Hiei wanted nothing more than to beat the boy into bloody oblivion. He had spent six months surmising how he would defeat the spirit detective. Each day the images became more violent easing the ache that had been delivered to his pride.

Yes, he would teach that insolate child a lesson by bringing him a painful death. That was until Yusuke had turned to him with certainty in his eyes and a softness gracing his features. Yusuke trust him. Never in his life had anyone openly given him so much of themselves. He was grateful for it. Hell, he was even grateful for the continuous insults that flew between he and Kuwabara. The big oaf eased the heavy burden that Hiei had grown accustomed to feeling.

It was these reasons he questioned himself and his motives. He cared for them. While he would never openly admit it he did in his own way. They trusted him and cared for his well being.

He had spent many years simply wanting nothing more than to return to the makai but now...

"Hiei! Hey Hiei!" The voice boomed loudly. Hiei flinched slightly knowing the oaf wouldn't seek him out unless there was a reason to do so. He remained silent not giving off an indication that he had heard. "Yo! I'm talkin' to you man."

Hiei gave a low irritated growl that resonated in his throat. Sharply he glanced down his eyes a blaze of crimson fury. Notably Kuwabara flinched under the gaze that was thrown at him causing Hiei minimal amusement. "Come on there's trouble downtown. Some demons gone berserk and...hey! Don't take off when I'm talkin' to you!"

He moved nimbly from tree top to tree top until he left the park to jump atop the roofs of different business's. The air around him hit his face full force as he sprinted forward out of sight of what was considered normal view. The smell of gasoline, street foods and humans smelled much cleaner than the odor of decay and filth that the makai carried on its stagnant winds. When he had first arrived in the human world the night had been drizzly carrying the aroma of wet earth. At first he had thought it was a demon approaching him getting ready to attack but after careful observation realized in this world, for the most part, there was no threat of such random attacks on his person.

The idea of not having to be in a daily struggle for his life had been a foreign one to him. Once it had actually sunk in for him was the day after he had met Kurama when he had absolutely nothing to do. The boredom consumed him daily. The life of leisure was making him soft and he berated himself for it but there was nothing to be done. No portals had opened leading back to the makai since he had arrived so until that time came he was trapped in the endless cycle that he guessed humans found comforting.

Still there was the nagging idea that struck him from time to time. The thought that if he left for his home world he would be leaving everyone he knew behind. The people who were the closest thing to a family he had ever known. Those who not only wanted him because of what he could do for them but simply because they liked him, enjoyed his company even. All for the simple notion that it was because he was himself.

He felt his foot slip and lose its purchase as he rolled ungracefully to the next roof. As usual the thought had caught him completely off guard. Forcefully he shook his head as he slowly regained his composure. 'So what if I leave them all behind? I'd happily leave that idiot Kuwabara. Give Yusuke a punch in the face on my way out for the trouble he's caused me and Kurama well Kurama can choke on his words.'

The shrill sound of metal ripping apart resounded down the street as screaming soon followed it. Hiei sprinted to the side of the building and looked down. Terrified humans ran in a stampede down the street in an attempt to get away from the potential threat caring little what happened to others who ran beside them. From observation over the past few years he had come to the realization that humans and demons were not so very different from one another. It made him sick. They were weak and simple minded while demons...well most weak and simple minded stil remainedl superior.

"SPIRIT GUN!" Hiei adverted his gaze to his left sharply upon hearing the familar attack called out. With out a moments hesitation Hiei leaped off the building onto a nearby telelphone pole. From there he was able to see what was transpiring. Kurama had already drawn out his rose whip as he stood a few feet away from the spirit detective. Smoke smoldered the wall of a nearby building presumably where the demon had gone through once it was struck down by the blast.

Hiei watched as it stood slowly shaking the debris from its body. The hulking mass ducked as it made its way out back into the open. It towered over the pair nearly reaching Hiei's own height where he stood. The sound of panting came from his far right below as Kuwabara ran down the street to stand next to their allies.

"Where the hell is Hiei?!" Yusuke shouted. "You did find him didn't you?"

"Yeah I did and he took off like the punk he is!" Kuwabara replied. Kurama remained silent ever knowing that the other would show normally later than sooner. Hiei decided to wait until the time was right. It was better to allow them an element of surprise. From what he could surmise it would be in their best interest to have an advantage no matter how small it may be.

Kurama advanced on the demon nimbly avoiding it as it lashed out its powerful limbs at the fox spirit. His rose whip was posed and ready to strike as Yusuke advanced from the other side his fists ready to pummel any who may get in his way be it friend or foe. Kuwabara produced his spirit sword sprinting in his usual fashion towards the demon. Hiei watched fascinated as hardly a blow was landed on the creature and his allies were struck down mercilessly.

The three stood once again some distance away from the demon for as long as they could nursing various wounds. Yusuke sported a deep gash that run along his forehead and reached the back of his head while Kuwabara's right arm was apparently broken. Kurama as always was the bloodiest of all. Hiei made himself ready to launch an attack on the demon placing his right hand on the hilt of his katana. The demon put its hands out, if thats what they could be called, in front of it creating an energy burst from its palms.

The energy began to grow larger and crackle malevolently. The three on the ground stood their ground taking on defensive stances while Hiei stood watching intently on the blast. The demon let out a great howl before releasing it from his grasp. Hiei didn't have time to think of his actions before he leaped in front of the blast to stand on the ground. Quickly he removed the bandana that he wrapped around his head and opened the jagan. He placed his hands out in front of him palms facing towards the blast in order to redirect his power more efficiently.

Heat emitted from it as it came closer as the hair on his arms began to stand on end from the sheer power of it. Distantly in the background he heard the others yelling at him to move out of the way and footsteps pound into pavement as they attempted to make their way towards him but the energy was approaching fast and they were wounded. The first bursts of energy enveloped his hands and he felt the pain of flesh being ripped away before finally just melting off the bones. He gritted his teeth willing himself to hold on just a bit longer. He would need to reach the core in order for him to be able to deflect it.

His eyes shut tightly leaving only the jagan open as he reached out with his ki to search desperately for the very center of the attack. Through the pain and the sickening smell of his own burning flesh he at last sighed the best sigh of relief he could under the circumstances and pushed his energy outward in an attempt to send the blast back to its creator. He used his jagan to guide it as he felt it leave his burning useless hands and heard the scream as it enveleoped the demon sending it straight to the hellish oblivion of the netherworld.

In an instant Hiei was laying prone on the ground his breathing ragged as the last remnants of his energy faded. He had every ounce of demonic energy in his body as well as his life force leaving him with little time left. He reopened his eyes and stared up at the strange blue sky of this foreign world squinting slightly at a light he was certain wasn't the sun began to cloud his vision. He was only dimly aware as his sight faded completely and his breath began to catch in his throat that the others were surrounding him.

Someone laid a hand against his shoulder while another rested his head on their lap.

"Hey shrimp, where do you think you're going?" He heard Kuwabara ask from next to him close to his face. Hiei sucked in a ragged breath of air before answering to the best of his abilities.

"Home."

_The last thing you know is the low hum that pervades your head. When you know you are going to die._

_When you know that even though this life may be over not all is lost because you died for something. _


End file.
